Confidence
2 min read
Praise the Effort, Not the Child
Saying what your child did is more useful than saying how clever they are.
"You kept trying until the tower stood up" tells a child something they can do again. "You are so clever" does not, and it quietly raises the stakes for the next thing they attempt.
Notice the specific thing: the careful colouring, the patience with a younger cousin, the second attempt after the first one collapsed.
When something goes wrong, describe it plainly and move on. Children take their cue from how we handle a spill or a mistake.
Avoid comparisons — with a sibling, with a cousin, with the child in the next flat. A comparison never makes a child try harder; it only makes them watch the other child.